表现型人格 VS 进取型人格
《Succeed - How We Can Reach Our Goals》 is a book for my first lesson in English study.There are some good sentences below:
And by “willpower”,I mean some innate quality of inner strength that allows those who have it to successfully avoid temptation.
Most people believe that it’s fundamentally a character issue.Some people have willpower(the thin,nonsmokers — and we admire them for it).Others don’t,and we judge them accordingly.
Self-control is the ability to guide your actions in pursuit of a goal — to persevere and stay on course,despite temptations,distractions,and the demands of competing goals.
Everyone knows that eating less and exercising more will help you lose weight.But knowing is one thing,and actually doing it is another thing entirely.
His meteoric rise from community orgnizer to Harvard Law Review president,state senator,U.S. sennator,and finally president of the United States would be worthy of admiration were he the son of well-connected New England blue bloods.
But he isn’t — he is the mixed-race child of a broken home and a family of average means,with no particular advantages other than his clearly extraordinary intelligence and determination.
Like a muscle,self-control can very in its strength — not only from person to person,but from moment to moment.
People who are very successful in one or more areas of their life are successful precisely because that’s where they devote the bulk of their capacity for self-control.
Depletion is only temporary,and you are most vulnerable immediately after you’ve used up your self-control reserves.
“Increasing your motivation through better rewards can help you compensate for a temporary loss of self-control”
Another way in which willpower,or self-control,is different than you may have imagined is that it’s neither innate nor unchangeable.Self-control is learned,and developed and made strong(or weaker)over time.
Succeed is about understanding how goals work,what tends to go wrong,and what you can do to reach your goals ro to help others reach theirs.
In the absence of a specific goal,do your best somewhat ironically tends to produce work that is far from the best — it’s a recipe for mediocrity.
Succeeding at something hard is more pleasurable,gives great satisfaction and happiness,and increases your overall sense of well-being.
Setting specific,challengling goals creates a cycle of success and happiness that can repeat itself over and over again,creating the “high performance cycle”.
Think more abstractly about behavior can be very energizing because you are one particular,often small action to a greater meaning or purpose.
If you want to motivate someone else to do something,describing it in why terms will also help persuade them to give it a try.
When actions are difficult to accomplish,it is easier and much more helpful to think about what we are doing in simple,concrete what terms rather than lofty,more abstract why ones.
Another powerful influence on whether you think of an action or a goal in abstract why or concrete what terms is time — specifically,how long it will be before you actually do whatever it is you are planning to do.
More concrete,what thinking leads you to place more weight on feasibility information — whether or not you can actually to whatever needs to be done.
We are biased to think about future events more in terms of why we want to do them and less in terms of how we’ll actually get it done,we adopt goals and plans with potentially rich rewards that are also logistical nightmares.
Many of us have a hard time being truly spontaneous or seizing unforeseen opportunities in the near future.
About the future,we think like exploers — but when it comes to here and now,we’re more like accountants.
Knowing how you thinking may be affected by time — by whether you are deciding about near or distant future — is crucial if you want to compensate for your natural bias and make the best possible decision.
Thinking what when it comes to your goals is an excellent way to not only be more realistic about your time,but also to prevent procrastination.
Greater achievement comes not from choosing one style over the other,but from deciding how to think about your goal to best overcome the specific challenges you are facing.
In studies of optimistic beliefs,psychologists routinely find that most of us believe we are much more likely than our peers to “have good things happen to us — to have successful careers,own our homes,make a lot of money,and live past ninety”.
People who believe goal pursuit will be difficult plan more,put in more effort,and take more action in pursuit of their goals.
The optimal stratrgy to use when setting a goal seems to be to think positively about how it will be when you achieve your goal,while thinking realistically about what it will take to get there.
Mental contrasting — first you imagine attaining your goal,and then you reflect on the obstacles that stand in the way.
Considering both what you want and what stands in your way will give you the clarity to make good decisions — when your chances for success are high,it will increase your commitment to your goal,making you more likely to successfully achieve it.When your chances are not so good,it will help you to recognize that and move on.
Some kinds of goals seem to lead to lasting improvements in happiness and well-being,while for others the changes are fleeting,if they happen at all.
Achieving isn’t just about knowing how to reach your goals — it’s at least as much about pursuing the kinds of goals that will help you to develop your full potential and actually enjoy the process of getting there.
Your beliefs about your strengths and your weaknesses play a large role in determining the goals you set for yourself.
If you believe that smartness is something you are more or less born with,something that is largely genetic,or something that develops in childhood but then is pretty much constant through adulthood,then you are an entity theorist when it comes to your intelligence.
If you believe that smartness is a quality that is developed over time through experience and learning,and that people can get more of it if they apply themselves,then you are an incremental theorist.
Challenges aren’t threatening — they are opportunities to acquire new skills.Mistakes don’t mean you are stupid — they are full of information that can help you to learn.
You can believe that your personality is fixed — that you are who you are and you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.Or you can believe it is malleable — that you can change and improve your personality and turn over a new leaf.
When we believe that there is something about ourselves we can not change,we pursue goals that focus exclusively on presenting ourselves to others in the best possible light.
Smart parents give their children a lot more than just a bunch of chromosomes.Smart parents seem to give their children many,many more chances to develop their intelligence.
Smart parents create home environments that are richer in learning opportunities.They talk more to their children.Often,they make more money and so are better able to provide educational opportunities and send their children to better school districts.
The key to getting smarter is first coming to believe that it is possible to get smarter — our beliefs can open(or close)that door.
The degree of heritability of IQ places no constraint on the degree of modifiability that is possible.
The vast majority of goals you are pursuing everyday of your life operate entirely without your awareness.
The more we do something,the more automatic it becomes — the more it is controlled by our unconscious thoughts.
A consciously,intentionally chosen goal can give you the same results as a completely unconsciously triggered goal.
Performance goals are characterized by an all-or-nothing quality — you either reach the goal or you don’t.When all you care about is being good,being almost good or mostly good is really not much consolation.
But Performance goals have a double-edged-sword quality — those ties to self-worth that make them so motivating are also what make them less adaptive when the going gets tougher.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A mastery goal is less about any one performance and more performance over time.There goals are tied to self-worth in a totally different way,because they are about self-improvement rather than self-validation.
When people run into trouble in pursuit of get-better goals,they don’t get depressed and helpless like the be-gooders — they take action.They ask themselves what they are doing wrong,and they fix it.
People who are focus on trying to develop a skill are not that impressed by rewards.But when you are trying to demonstrate what you can do,it’s that much more motivating when high ability earns you something you really want.
A very different picture emerges,however,when the road gets rockier — when people are dealing with unfamiliar,complex,or difficult tasks,with obstacles,or with setbacks.That’s where the advantages of focusing on growth over glory become clear.
When you are focused on getting better,rather than on being good,you benefit in two very important ways.First,when things get tough — when you are faced with complexity,time presure,obstacles,or unexpected challenges — you don’t get so discouraged.
When a task is difficult,and persistence is the key to higher achievement,get-better mastery goals have the clear advantages.
When persistence is what is needed to Succeed — when you need to be in it for the long haul and not give up too soon — get-better goals are just what the doctors ordered.
Be-good goals are all about the outcome,and so that’s what holds all of our attention.Getter-better goals,on the other hand,are all about the journey.
When people pursue get-better goals,they find greater interest and enjoyment in what they do.They have a heightened attention to the process,experience a greater sense of involvement and immersion,and personally value what they are learning more.
One of the most important things you can do to reach any difficult goal is know when to ask for and accept help.Seeking help can be a very effective way to cope with obstacles,face challenges,or just navigate unfamiliar terrain.
For people who focus on growth and progress,as opposed to constantly trying to prove themselves,the depressions that to occur tend to be both less severe and less frequent.
The more depressed getting-better people get,the more likely they are to keep up with their other goals — the sadder they felt,the quicker they were tackle the laundry pile and crack those books.
Failures become feedback on how to improve.Obstacles become surmountable.Feeling bad propels you off the couch.Change your goal and you change your glasses — your world becomes a very different place.